I Feel, I Think, I Clam Up


The popular saying is, “Opinions are like noses; everybody has one.” I’ve heard a few variations, but you get the point. Each of us has his (or her) own thoughts and feelings about any given subject.

It’s pretty hard not to. Neutrality is almost impossible; chances are, we will have an opinion. We either like someone, or we don’t. We either like a movie, song, or show, or we don’t. We either stand for or against something or someone.

It’s one of our main daily activities, really: forming and developing opinions.

And, at some point, we will express those opinions. We’ll say what we feel, or think.

And the people to whom we say them will either agree or disagree.

Counselor, is there a point to this narrative?

I’m getting there, Your Honor.

I often try not to have an opinion on things but, as I said, that’s pretty tough. I am, after all, a thinking, feeling human being.

What I try even harder to do is keep those opinions to myself, because if I express them, I may have to then defend them. And therein lies a source of great discomfort for me.


You ever walk into a gunfight with a pea-shooter?

That’s how I feel almost every time I get into a discussion with someone whose opinions differ from my own.

No matter how confident I may be about my ability to argue my position, I nearly always feel as though the other person can argue his better, thus sending me to a spectacular crash and burn.

I hate that.

Because, then I end up feeling like my opinion is the wrong one, even though I’ve been told many times, there is no wrong opinion. Facts are right and wrong (or even “alternative”). Opinions are simply opinions.

(You couldn’t prove that by the current political discourse in this country, though, but that’s another story.)

What’s worse, I worry the other person thinks I’m kinda on the stupid side for believing as I do. Mind you, this is all under the assumption the other person even cares what I think.

Which all serves to make me less likely to open my mouth next time around. 🤐


So, I wonder: does anybody else feel like that? Seriously.

If you do, how do you deal with that?

Because, in my opinion, I could use some tips.

6 thoughts on “I Feel, I Think, I Clam Up

  1. I do the same thing. I have some pretty strong opinions about some items, but I don’t necessarily want to debate or argue with anyone about it mainly because of what they might think of me.I think the best advice is to just remember that you don’t think any less of the other person who is making a point, so why would that person think any less of you. And if they do, who cares? Easier said then done, of course. Great post, I struggle with this a lot

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Everyone’s opinion is based on what they have been exposed to during their life. My opinions differ greatly from many of my friends. But they know I am a good person, and I know they are a good person. We have the same goal, to make the world better. It is just our experience that makes us take different paths to try and achieve the same goal. Good friends are a safe place to have a dialogue about opinions. If you loose them as a friend, it just means their path went to far the other direction for safe communication. I let those go and move on. Life is about growth and change. And not everyone grows at the same rate or in the same way.

    Liked by 1 person

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