Still Driving Four Years Later

Well, well…

Just got a reminder from WordPress about my blog’s four-year anniversary. Can’t believe it’s already been that long. Can’t believe people are still reading it after that long! But I’m very glad you are.

Thank all of you who have stopped in somewhere along my journey to read what’s going on in my scrambled egg of a mind. I hope you haven’t found it boring. I’ve tried to entertain, to educate, to point my fellow depression sufferers out there to some help, just to share what I think, for whatever it’s worth.

I’ll be honest: lately I’ve had thoughts of giving this writing thing up, because it’s been so freakin’ hard to come up with anything. My depression affects my concentration, and my inner critic gets pretty critical when I try to write something, so it’s two against one a lot of the time.

But I guess I’ll stay after it for awhile longer. Mainly cause I like the attention.

Thanks again, everyone. Blessings on you, and please stay safe.

 

 

 

Covid-19 Blues

Well, maybe now, I’ll have some time to write, at least.

The company that uses me as its shuttle bus driver has advised its employees to work from home, if they can, for the next two weeks, due to the you know what. That means fewer people to shuttle, which means no need for yours truly for the rest of this week, and maybe next.

Boooooooo…

So now, this thing is hitting me in the pocketbook, like it is several others, as the world continues to shut down. Sporting events and concerts cancelled or postponed. Schools temporarily closed. Restaurants and shopping centers emptied out. Grocery store shelves ransacked. Toilet paper is the new precious metal; won’t surprise me to see it go on the black market.

Utter craziness.

Oh, and a lot of people getting sick around the world, including the United States.

And for those of you trying to convince yourselves and everyone else that this is just the flu, permit me to wake you up: the mortality rate for Covid-19 is 10 times that of the flu.

This is serious, folks, and it needs to be taken seriously. Look out for yourselves and each other. We will get through this, but not without some sacrifice and some common sense precautions. By now, I’m sure you all know what those are; do them.

As for me, I guess I’ll have some time to get caught up on a few things around the house, spend some quality time with my wife and cats, and maybe write some more.

Y’all, please take care, and take your finger off the panic button, for gosh sakes.

 

Oh, one more thing: I have avoided comment on my government’s response to this whole crisis in order to maintain a stable blood pressure. Later.

 

 

 

 

 

What’s On My Mind

I haven’t written about my depression in a while, so for you new followers and visitors, let me bring you up to speed:

I was diagnosed with clinical depression several years ago. I was angry all the time, but I didn’t realize that was an outward manifestation of depression in men, until a therapist told me. And then, once I learned more about its symptoms, I thought, “WOW, I check a lot of these boxes!”

Didn’t mean I was crazy, mind you; that’s an old stigma that needs to be buried forever. Nobody with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder or any other mental illness is a crazy person. He (or she) just lacks the necessary mental faculties, for any number of reasons, to safely navigate this life.

Anyway, with the help of a couple of good therapists and some medication, I’m doing better.

For the most part. There are still a few dark days, even fewer really dark days, and a lot of days of just, meh. But, without the medicine, I know I’d be worse.

The important thing is, I got help. If you think you may need help, too, please ask for it. Depression is a beast, and you’re likely not going to beat it on your own. I know us guys especially are reluctant to talk to anyone about things of this nature.

We just go kill ourselves, instead.

Let’s not let it come to that,okay? Help is available; here is a great place to go to find it.

If you want to learn more of my story, read my post from July 2016, “The .05 Cubic Foot Cell.” See if you identify.

I wish you well.

The Big, Epic Blog Post

You may have noticed, I’ve not written anything in a while. At least, I’ve noticed.

The problem with that is, I start putting pressure on myself. I feel like, when I finally post something new, it has to be big. It has to be grand. It has to be memorable. So it will have been worth the wait, right?

Well, get ready to be disappointed; I got nothing.

I’m coming up blank on what to write about. It’s frustrating as hell.

I don’t really have any updates on my life, of note. My depression has been mostly under control, lately, with the occasional exception. No significant physical changes. I haven’t won any lotteries. Probably because I don’t play any.

I have no insight to offer regarding the news of the day; it still alternately depresses and enrages me. And that takes a toll, as I’m sure you can empathize.

I have, however, found some blogs I really enjoy, because I find them entertaining or thought-provoking, or both. Among them are:

The Written Addiction

Filosofa’s Word

The King’s Necktie

Dare to Know

Teri Carter’s Library

Check ‘em out sometime. I think you’ll enjoy them. Meanwhile, I’ll keep wrestling with this writer’s block thing I got going.

Wotta Night

 

One of my favorite blogs to read is called Stuff That Needs to Be Said, by John Pavlovitz. Much of the stuff he says does, I agree, need to be said.

And sometimes, it just needs to be said to me.

For example:

Last night, I had a terrible time trying to get to sleep because, as I lay in bed, I became overcome with a feeling of utter hopelessness over the future of America, if not the world. (It started as hopelessness over me, and quickly grew from there. That’s how my mind works.)

I just was overwhelmed with the feeling of what’s the use? Why even try to do any good in the world? We’re standing in front of a rising tidal wave of evil.

So today, I found this post by John Pavlovitz I recalled reading last April, called, “Here’s Why You Can’t Lose Hope.”

Really. That’s the title. I thought it would be a good time to read it again.

You see? Stuff that needed to be said to me.  Stuff I needed to hear. And I’ll probably need to hear it several more times.

If you think that stuff needs to be said to you, too, read it here

On second thought, forget the probably. I know I’ll need to hear it more times. Hope fades quickly these days; the fight is long and continuous and unrelenting.

But, so many have fought before us, we can’t erase their legacy by surrendering.

No matter how much sleep I may lose over it.

 

 

It’s All Right to Be Left

 

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Today, August 13th, is International Left Handers Day. A day for my people!

Yes, I am left-handed. A lefty. A southpaw. A weirdo. The English word sinister is derived from the Latin word for “left”. Gauche, French for “left”, is used in English to describe someone who is lacking in the social graces.

See how well thought of we are?

Nevertheless, I’m in an exclusive club; it’s estimated about 11% of the world’s population is left-handed.

Mind you, I’m not strictly southpawed. I throw right-handed. I golf right-handed. I bowl right-handed. I dance right-handed. Wait a minute…

Anyway, most anything else, I do left-handed. Yes, even that.

Writing left-handed is really annoying, though: I smear ink everywhere. I can’t even write in pencil without getting lead all on the side of my hand. And you can forget about felt markers.

Crayons, I remember doing okay with.

I’m sure it’s because pens are made for right handers. They’re not, really, but a lot of other things are. Scissors come to mind right away. We lefties just have to adapt. Like I had to when I broke my left wrist, and had to use my right hand for everything. That was fun. Fortunately, that only lasted a few weeks.

Anyway, I just want to say, take a lefty to lunch today.

And watch him eat.