Angry White Men

A clear-eyed look at the cause, and the solution, for white male anger which, as we’ve seen lately, sometimes escalates to white male violence.

Note To My White Self

According to recent news stories and opinion pieces, America has a growing racial problem. It is a problem that can no longer be ignored and must be addressed. Shamefully, our nation has forgotten an entire segment of our population, disregarding their plight and their legitimate resentment. In the land of liberty and justice, these citizens have been neglected and marginalized. They are righteously angry and demanding our attention. According to these pundits, Donald Trump won election because he spoke to them, giving voice to their pain. And who are these long forgotten and mistreated citizens?  Angry white men.

Indeed, a recent national poll found 55% of white Americans believe discrimination against white people exists in the United States today. This same survey found 19% of white Americans have actually experienced a situation where they believe they were discriminated against for being white.  Many of these respondents were white men who…

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Drop the Mikes

 

A sad day is approaching for fans of sports radio, like yours truly.

In what is perhaps the most heartrending breakup of a duo since Sonny and Cher (Google it, kids), the morning ESPN Radio tandem of Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic will air its final broadcast on Friday, November 18, 2017.

A moment of silence, please.

As Greenberg, AKA Greeny, AKA The Green Mamba (don’t ask) would say, here’s the thing:

These two fellows have faithfully delivered your morning sports news for the last eighteen years. For that to abruptly end is going to be a serious shock to the system. Like Cal Ripken, Jr. ending his streak of consecutive games played. Or the UConn women’s basketball team ending its streak of consecutive victories. Or Donald Trump ending his streak of indescribably asinine tweets. A guy can hope, right?

We’ve had these two distinct personalities offering us their unique insights on the sports headlines of the day and, as one of their television ads used to say, “What makes them different makes them great.” Greeny gives us the perspective of the fan, the guy plunking down the big money to go and see the athletes play. His reactions to a story are basically our reactions, and he relishes examining every facet of it. Golic, the former pro football player, gives us a glimpse into the psyche of the athlete, the daily preparation undertaken by players and coaches alike, and the toll this business can exact physically, emotionally and, yes, financially.

Together, Mike and Mike give us everything we need to know in sports. And oh, by the way, they have a ton of fun along the way. And it isn’t just their voices we heard. The show has featured thousands of luminaries from sports and entertainment over the years. Players, coaches, managers, general managers, commissioners, actors, singers, comedians, all talkin’ sports with Greeny and Golic.

So, after studying the game film, let’s break each of them down shall we?

 

MIKE GREENBERG

The uberfan. Lifelong devotee of the New York Jets. (bless his heart) Suave, sophisticated, debonair, sharp dresser, neatly coiffed, impeccably groomed beard, stunningly handsome. Am I getting it right so far, Greeny?

Erudite, articulate, eloquent, loquacious, and perspicacious. (Thank you, thesaurus.com) Genius who will never be appreciated in his lifetime. He said so. Several times.

Germaphobe who can’t even eat a sandwich with bare hands, opting instead to use a knife and fork. You read that right.

Open and willing to listen to other side of an argument before adroitly countering with, “Okay, you’re wrong.” Given to exaggeration, as in, “This is the best, worst, greatest, biggest, highest, lowest, fastest, slowest, whateverest in the history of mankind.”

But, enough about him…

 

MIKE GOLIC

The jock. Former standout defensive lineman in the National Football League. Proud alumnus of the University of Notre Dame, as are his three kids and, undoubtably, all subsequent generations of Golics. (I think there’s a contract somewhere.)

Never met a morsel of food he didn’t like, even one dropped on the floor. Characterizes the 5-second rule as too strict. Lover of cakes, donuts, ice creams, burgers, barbecue…well, everything. Except vegetables.

Posed for a nude photo, a la Kim Kardashian, to pay off a bet. If you haven’t seen it, lucky you. Has admitted to sitting naked on the couch at home. (At least, I hope at home.) Greeny, of course, would never do such a thing without first setting out a coaster.

Knowledgeable, personable, humorous, and easy-going. Just don’t get him started on protecting the quarterback.

 

As I alluded to before, these two brought a lot of humor onto their show, fortunately never taking themselves too seriously. They dressed in costume for Halloween. They made wagers for the NCAA Final Four men’s basketball tournament which, to their credit, they always paid off, no matter how humiliating or painful. Or both. My particular favorite is when Greeny had to milk a cow, live on the show. An absolute classic.

Neither of them is leaving the airwaves, mind you. Golic will continue the show with new partner, and fellow Baylor alumnus, Trey Wingo (Sic ‘em, Bears!), while Greeny goes home to New York to host a new morning show from ESPN’s new Manhattan studio. I’m sure they will have much success in their new ventures.

But a beautiful partnership is ending, and I’m sorry to see it go.

I know this has gotten really long, but you have to understand just how much this show has meant to me and to legions of other listeners. These guys have been an institution, as much a part of men’s morning rituals as shaving.

And we’ve loved it.

Thanks, Mike and Mike. It’s been a crazy, hilarious, educational, fantastic trip. We’d be happy to take it again.

 

 

 

 

 

Selling Myself Short

 

Legendary Texas sportswriter Blackie Sherrod used to open his column in the Sunday paper with, “Scattershooting while wondering whatever happened to ____…”, fill in the blank with the name of some famous person, sports related or not, who hadn’t been heard from lately, then regale his readers with short, but brilliant, observations on a variety of topics.

So, in tribute to him, and because I don’t seem to be able craft any narrative much longer than a paragraph lately, here are a few short takes. Here goes:

 

Scattershooting while wondering whatever happened to Kellyanne Conway…

I’m so happy for the Houston Astros, who just won their very first World Series, and are now the reigning champions of Major League Baseball. ⚾️

It couldn’t have happened at a better time for the beleaguered people of Houston, whose recovery from the devastation left behind by hurricane Harvey is ongoing. They had something to rally around, to cheer for and finally, to celebrate. So, at least for awhile, Houstonians had a chance to forget all the troubles that still beset them, and party their Astros off. 🎉🎉

 

It’s come to this, I guess.

The New York City Marathon took place Sunday, mere days after a terrorist killed eight people in Manhattan by running over them in a truck. Several people participating in the race were understandably worried about such a thing happening again during the marathon, so the city and the police took the following precautions:

From the Associated Press:

“The security detail will include hundreds of extra uniformed patrol and plainclothes officers, roving teams of counterterrorism commandos armed with heavy weapons, bomb-sniffing dogs and rooftop snipers poised to shoot if a threat emerges.”

This was for a footrace, folks. I mean, good grief!

Fortunately, there were no incidents. Congratulations to the women’s winner, America’s Shalane Flanagan, and the men’s winner, Kenya’s Geoffrey Kamworor, and to everyone else who participated. And to New York’s Finest for keeping them safe.

You people are masochists, though, running that far. Just sayin’.

 

Well, the floodgates have opened, haven’t they? As predicted, Harvey Weinstein was just the beginning. We’re hearing story after story of men in positions of power abusing that power with women. Women are discovering strength in numbers, and speaking up about instances of harassment and abuse from powerful men, instances they previously stayed silent about for fear of reprisal.

I just read about former and current women in Congress being harassed by certain men in Congress, some of whom still serve. (Nobody was named specifically.)

Actions have consequences, even for powerful men. Time for all this hideous behavior to be called out and punished. Ladies, I salute your courage. Gentlemen, it’s time you were truly gentlemen. Way past time.

And that goes for you, too, Kevin Spacey.

 

donald trump has actually changed my opinion of him. He’s reinforced it. Exponentially.

 

Some people just…shouldn’t… be…parents.

Courtesy of CBS News:

“SAUKVILLE, Wis. — A Wisconsin woman is facing charges after her 9-year-old son was tied to the roof of their minivan to help hold down a plastic pool.

“Prosecutors allege (the woman) had her son hold down the molded pool they’d just picked up because it wouldn’t fit inside the van. CBS affiliate WDJT reports a driver called police after seeing the incident on Sept. 9 in Saukville, about 20 miles north of Milwaukee.”

She later explained to police, she thought it was okay, because her dad used to let her do that all the time. Proof positive that stupid is hereditary.

 

These are certainly different times we live in. I recall a time when the thought never even entered my mind that I might go to school, or to the mall, or to church, and wind up getting shot. There truly is no safe place left anymore. That’s a terrible feeling.

I guess no one is gonna get off their ass and do something about all the gun violence in this country until every single citizen ends up shot. Apparently, that’s what it will take.

 

Model Chrissy Teigen left a waitress in Ohio a $1,000 tip recently.

I know it’s too much to wish for, but I hope she catches a ride on my shuttle sometime.

Later, y’all.

 

 

 

Shutting Myself Up

 

I am a very ruthless editor.

No matter what I’ve tried to write lately, my inner editor taunts, “Aw, come on, nobody’s gonna want to read that! Why are you even bothering? This is junk, pal! Give it up.”

And so, I start post after post, never to complete any of them. I can think of things to write about, but currently don’t have the confidence to follow through.

So I guess this is just to let you know, I’m still here, and that’s why you haven’t heard from me lately, and I hope to find my way out of this frustrating circumstance before long.

Meantime, love and peace to all of you.

I Feel, I Think, I Clam Up

 

The popular saying is, “Opinions are like noses; everybody has one.” I’ve heard a few variations, but you get the point. Each of us has his (or her) own thoughts and feelings about any given subject.

It’s pretty hard not to. Neutrality is almost impossible; chances are, we will have an opinion. We either like someone, or we don’t. We either like a movie, song, or show, or we don’t. We either stand for or against something or someone.

It’s one of our main daily activities, really: forming and developing opinions.

And, at some point, we will express those opinions. We’ll say what we feel, or think.

And the people to whom we say them will either agree or disagree.

Counselor, is there a point to this narrative?

I’m getting there, Your Honor.

I often try not to have an opinion on things but, as I said, that’s pretty tough. I am, after all, a thinking, feeling human being.

What I try even harder to do is keep those opinions to myself, because if I express them, I may have to then defend them. And therein lies a source of great discomfort for me.

 

You ever walk into a gunfight with a pea-shooter?

That’s how I feel almost every time I get into a discussion with someone whose opinions differ from my own.

No matter how confident I may be about my ability to argue my position, I nearly always feel as though the other person can argue his better, thus sending me to a spectacular crash and burn.

I hate that.

Because, then I end up feeling like my opinion is the wrong one, even though I’ve been told many times, there is no wrong opinion. Facts are right and wrong (or even “alternative”). Opinions are simply opinions.

(You couldn’t prove that by the current political discourse in this country, though, but that’s another story.)

What’s worse, I worry the other person thinks I’m kinda on the stupid side for believing as I do. Mind you, this is all under the assumption the other person even cares what I think.

Which all serves to make me less likely to open my mouth next time around. 🤐

 

So, I wonder: does anybody else feel like that? Seriously.

If you do, how do you deal with that?

Because, in my opinion, I could use some tips.

Thoughts and Prayers…Then What?

 

Dear Las Vegas,

I can’t tell you how deeply sorry I am, how much my heart hurts, how horrified I am, at what happened Sunday night at a country music festival on the Strip.

At how some nitwit 32 floors up in a hotel room opened fire on the crowd, killing, at last count, 50 people and wounding over 400 others, making this the largest mass murder in recent American history.

At how what should have been a night of fun, music and camaraderie turned, just like that, into a real live, real-time nightmare.

I can’t begin to imagine how chaotic, unnerving, terrifying and ultimately senseless the whole scene was as it unfolded. People knew they were in danger, but had no idea where to run, as this monster continued his all-out assault, motivated by who knows what.

It’s heartbreaking. It’s sickening. Unfortunately, though, it’s not especially shocking.

It’s simply our modern-day culture. Somebody kills a bunch of innocent people. Again.

 

We all know what happens now.

“Thoughts and prayers” come in from well-meaning people around the world. Which is entirely appropriate. After a tragedy such as this, many of us feel too helpless to do anything other than let the victims know we care, but that’s important for them to know.

Then, the gun control advocates and the National Rifle Association and its acolytes have a shouting match over what the proper response should be. About all I’m saying about that is, “Guns don’t kill people; people do.”, definitely ranks in my Top Three for single most asinine statement I’ve ever heard in my life.

Then, ultimately, nothing changes, the story becomes old news in our 24/7 news culture, and things go on as before, until the next mass shooting.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Somebody, please, prove me wrong. I would love for someone to break this cycle, and soon.

I know you’re hurting really bad, Las Vegas. I wish you comfort, healing and strength.

And one other thing. To those of you whose compassion and courage moved you to rush to the aid of victims before the first responders could reach them: you were, by far, the brightest lights on the Strip last night.

A Ray of Light, Part 4 (Yes, Cain, You Are)

 

And the Lord said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother’s keeper?

Genesis 4:9

 

For Cole

 

As I alluded to before, suicide has made its presence felt in my family, a few times.

One family member completed it.

Another attempted it. More than once.

Another decided, at the last second, to choose life. (Fortunately)

And I came really close once to attempting it. And have thought about it many times since.

So, that’s why this issue is rather close to my heart. When I discovered that this was National Suicide Prevention Month, I knew I needed to do what I could to raise awareness, and to erase some of the stigma attached to suicide. Most of us aren’t comfortable talking about it, so we don’t. Unfortunately, we may be paying much too high a price for our silence; too many precious lives lost.

Well, we need to start talking about it, folks. Especially, parents, to your kids. Suicide is occurring more and more among teenagers, as well as elementary school kids, some as young as five.

Think about that for a minute. Five. How heartbreaking is that?

The Bible verse I started with features Cain lying about Abel (who he had just murdered), then passing off any responsibility for him. The truth is, we are all our brothers’, and sisters’, keepers; one of the reasons we’re here is to look out for each other, showing care and compassion.

And that includes a health care system in this country that provides adequate care and support to anyone with a mental illness. Because, while most mentally ill people do not kill themselves, the majority of suicides are completed by people with some mental illness.

There are many homeless people who have a mental illness, but can’t get access to the treatment they need. There are many veterans who, because of snags in the system, are not getting the treatment they need, which is criminal. Who will fight for the ones who willingly fought for us?

Fortunately, there are several mental health advocates in Congress, including Tim Murphy of Pennsylvania, John Cornyn and Eddie Bernice Johnson of Texas, and Chris Murphy of Connecticut, who deserve our thanks for their efforts to effect positive change in mental health care in America.

I know, a lot of people won’t seek help for mental illness, because it’s so stigmatized that they won’t admit they might even have one. And that needs to stop.

If you have a mental illness, you’re not crazy, you’re not a nut job, you’re not cuckoo, or psycho, or looney, or any of the other derogatory terms commonly used.

You’re simply ill, and you need help. Please, don’t be ashamed to ask for it.

 

If you’re thinking about killing yourself, please read this first:

We may not know each other, but I love you. I care about you. I’m sorry you feel like that. I’ve felt like that. And I want you to know, you deserve to be alive.

You absolutely deserve it.

It’s something I have to remind myself of, often. My depression puts me through round after round, fighting the feeling of complete worthlessness, the feeling that all I ever do is screw up, so maybe, I should just put a stop to it, for good.

But no; I deserve to live. And so do you.

I know, sometimes, life just SUCKS. It’s confusing, frustrating, unfair, tragic and cruel, offering no explanation whatsoever as to why.

But, fortunately for us all, it’s also full of beauty. And wonder. And laughter. And love.

I promise you, it’s there.

Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, at 1-800-273-8255, if you need to talk to someone. Please.

And let me recommend one more amazing website to you: http://livethroughthis.org/

Here, you’ll find stories from 95 different people about attempting suicide – and surviving. People who were molested. People who were bullied. People who were body shamed. People with depression. People with addiction.

I’m willing to bet, one of their stories matches up pretty closely with yours. Because, you’re probably sitting there thinking that nobody has ever been through what you’re going through, but I’m pretty sure you’re wrong about that.

So, let’s live, okay? Let’s live, and see what happens.

I wish you healing, peace, love and life.

A Ray of Light, Part 3

 

For Cole

 

Recently, I’ve written some posts regarding suicide, as September is National Suicide Prevention Month. It’s a major public health issue, and it’s on all of us to do what we can to prevent it.

In my previous post, I’ve presented the warning signs of a suicidal person, and some steps you can take to help someone who exhibits one or more of those signs.

And, once again, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline number is 1-800-273-8255. The call is free, and the line is open 24/7.

Today, I want to pass along some information from the World Health Organization, regarding some popular myths surrounding suicide, along with the facts that dispel them.

MYTH: “Once someone is suicidal, he or she will always remain suicidal.”

THE TRUTH: “Heightened suicide risk is often short-term and situation-specific. While suicidal thoughts may return, they are not permanent and an individual with previously suicidal thoughts and attempts can go on to live a long life.”

MYTH: “Talking about suicide is a bad idea, and can be interpreted as encouragement.” (I believed this one.)

THE TRUTH: “Given the widespread stigma around suicide, most people who are contemplating suicide do not know who to speak to. Rather than encouraging suicidal behaviour, talking openly can give an individual other options or the time to rethink his/her decision, thereby preventing suicide.”

MYTH: “Only people with mental disorders are suicidal.”

THE TRUTH: “Suicidal behaviour indicates deep unhappiness but not necessarily mental disorder. Many people living with mental disorders are not affected by suicidal behaviour, and not all people who take their own lives have a mental disorder.”

MYTH: “Most suicides happen suddenly, without warning.”

THE TRUTH: “The majority of suicides have been preceded by warning signs, whether verbal or behavioural. Of course there are some suicides that occur without warning. But it is important to understand what the warning signs are and look out for them.”

MYTH: “Someone who is suicidal is determined to die.”

THE TRUTH: “Fact: On the contrary, suicidal people are often ambivalent about living or dying. Someone may act impulsively by drinking pesticides, for instance, and die a few days later, even though they would have liked to live on. Access to emotional support at the right time can prevent suicide.”

MYTH: “People who talk about suicide do not mean to do it.”

THE TRUTH: “People who talk about suicide may be reaching out for help or support. A significant number of people contemplating suicide are experiencing anxiety, depression and hopelessness and may feel that there is no other option.”

Did you see any myths you thought to be true? That’s why it’s important for us to learn what the real truths are, so that we can clear up the misunderstandings in our society regarding suicide.

I hope I’ve passed along some valuable information to all of you. You can find much more at http://www.bethe1to.com/ or https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or several other terrific websites related to suicide prevention. It’s something we all need more education about, so that we can be better equipped to help family members, friends, co-workers, who we see all the time, yet may not have a clue how badly they hurt inside. Knowing this information just might make a difference.

I’ll wrap this up next time with some personal thoughts and observations. Wishing you all well.

 

They Listen

 

Interesting thing happened to me recently. I know, go figure, right?

Well, I got a text from a guy named Will, who was a client of mine last year, when I was still a chauffeur. Turned out, Will was a musician, in town for some huge, weekend-long wrestling event. He loves music, and he loves wrestling, and we joked about him maybe making a career combining the two, like being a musical wrestler. Or a wrestling musician.

Anyway, we talked some about the kinds of music we like, and he said he likes stuff with a jazzy vibe to it, so I asked him if he’d ever heard of Steely Dan, whose specialty is just that. He said he hadn’t, which was understandable; Steely Dan was a little before his time. So I suggested he check ’em out; he might like them.

Hadn’t had any correspondence with the guy since.

Until this text he sent me. He said, when he heard recently of the death of Steely Dan co-founder, co-songwriter and guitarist Walter Becker, I was the first person he thought of.

(!!!!!)

Mind you, I drove this guy once.

Over a year ago.

He still remembered me, and our conversation. He said in his text, he couldn’t believe it. I texted back, “Neither can I!”

 

This was a story about how you never know what you’re gonna say to someone that stays in his mind long after you said it. Good thing for us all to keep in mind.

Will, thanks for the reminder. Great to hear from you, even if it did freak me out just a bit. Hope you’re a successful musical wrestler, now.

Sour Apples

 

Okay, so now we have a brand-new phone that is available to Joe T. Consumer for the incredibly low price of $999.

(At least it isn’t $1,000; that would just be outrageous.)

Let me tell you something. If I pay $999 for a telephone, it better connect me to somebody on Saturn, understand? Furthermore, it should cook all my meals and wash the dishes afterwards, wash, dry and hang up my clothes, change my oil, mow my yard, and service me satisfactorily in bed.

Otherwise, it ain’t worth it.

Of course, I know there are some folks out there who will buy, or have already bought, this phone. To you, I say:

Could I interest you in some oceanfront property in Iowa?