140 Funny Quotes to Lighten Your Mood and Reduce Stress

Because we sure could use some laughs…

Learn With Andy

Funny Quotes to Lighten Your Mood and Reduce Stress

Today I’d like to share a collection of funny quotes.

Why?

Because of the simple power of taking a laugh break.

A laugh break is just 5-15 minutes when you watch, read or listen to something that makes you laugh.

Like:

  • One or a couple of Youtube-videos.
  • Half an episode that one sit-com that makes you laugh the most.
  • A comic strip on paper on online.
  • An episode of a podcast or your favorite radio show.
  • Or simply hanging out for a while with your funniest co-worker, friend or family member.

But why take a laugh break?

Because it’s – in my experience – one of the most reliable and quick-acting ways to relax, reduce stress and to find a lighter and more optimistic perspective on your day and life.

So in this post I’d like to help out with that and simply share some of the funniest quotes of…

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The Naked Guy at the Organ

When I was a teenager, I discovered Monty Python’s Flying Circus, a British television comedy series. My local public TV station, I later learned, was the first in America to broadcast the show. It came on Sunday night, after my bedtime.

I would sneak into the living room, turn the TV on at a low volume, and watch comedy like I’d never seen before. It was stream-of-consciousness comedy, one sketch flowing right into the next, with occasional interludes from animator Terry Gilliam.

And it was hilarious, I thought. Unabashedly silly nonsense, and I loved it. The writing was sharp and brilliant, and so were the performances by the Pythons: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Gilliam, Eric Idle, Michael Palin…

…and Terry Jones, who passed away yesterday at age 77, due to complications from a rare form of dementia.

Terry brought many funny characters to life: the waitress reading a menu which included Spam in every single item, the naked man sitting at an organ in the unlikeliest of places (a boxing ring, a battlefield, etc.), the Spanish Inquisitor torturing with “the Soft Pillows!”, the dangerously obese Mr. Creosote in the movie “Monty Python’s Meaning of Life”, and the mother of Brian in the movie “Life of Brian”, who famously chides Brian’s followers who have mistaken him for someone else, “He’s not the Messiah! He’s a very naughty boy!”

R.I.P., Terry. Long live Spam Monty Python Spam!

It’s All Right to Be Left

 

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Today, August 13th, is International Left Handers Day. A day for my people!

Yes, I am left-handed. A lefty. A southpaw. A weirdo. The English word sinister is derived from the Latin word for “left”. Gauche, French for “left”, is used in English to describe someone who is lacking in the social graces.

See how well thought of we are?

Nevertheless, I’m in an exclusive club; it’s estimated about 11% of the world’s population is left-handed.

Mind you, I’m not strictly southpawed. I throw right-handed. I golf right-handed. I bowl right-handed. I dance right-handed. Wait a minute…

Anyway, most anything else, I do left-handed. Yes, even that.

Writing left-handed is really annoying, though: I smear ink everywhere. I can’t even write in pencil without getting lead all on the side of my hand. And you can forget about felt markers.

Crayons, I remember doing okay with.

I’m sure it’s because pens are made for right handers. They’re not, really, but a lot of other things are. Scissors come to mind right away. We lefties just have to adapt. Like I had to when I broke my left wrist, and had to use my right hand for everything. That was fun. Fortunately, that only lasted a few weeks.

Anyway, I just want to say, take a lefty to lunch today.

And watch him eat.

 

Running With the Crowd

 

My fellow Americans, today I am formally announcing my candidacy for the Democratic nomination for President of the United States.

Why? Because everyone else in the world is.

New York City Mayor Bill DeBlasio announced his candidacy Thursday, which brings the total number of candidates to somewhere around 857, I believe.

Holy Clusterf***, Batman!

You think everyone wants a shot at donnie? They are lining up, friends.

I mean, can you imagine the stage for the debates? There’ll be more candidates than audience members. Just introducing them all will take up about half the allotted debate time. You’d need a program to follow along.

And honestly, I stand as good a chance as most of them.

So, why not? I don’t know a thing about running a country, but we’ve already proven that’s not a prerequisite for getting elected, right?

I mean, the economy, health care, foreign policy, the environment…how tough could this job really be?

So, yeah, vote for me, folks, and I promise to get on this stuff right away.

After all, I don’t have a Twitter account!

Oh, and at the debates, I’ll be the sixteenth guy from the right.

I’ll wave at you.