Still Here

Hi, there. It’s been a while. Figured I should let y’all know I haven’t disappeared.

I haven’t had COVID, thank goodness. Nor has anyone in my family, far as I know. It has touched my life, though; a friend died from it.

I just haven’t felt much like writing. No inspiration, no motivation, even. Truth is, this hasn’t been the best year for me. It’s been pretty depressing, for several reasons, health issues and loss of family members among them.

I know life is life, and bad stuff just happens to everyone. I know I’m not being unfairly singled out.

I’m just ready for some light to peek through these clouds.

Anyhow, I‘ll try not to be such a stranger in the future.

Take care, y’all.

Live For Today (Because Tomorrow Will Suck)


It’s probably the depression talking, but I tell you, the future looks just so bleak to me anymore. To wit:

No matter who gets elected in November (please, Joe!), this country is so deeply, bitterly, hopelessly divided, I see no chance for reconciliation. In fact, I think sometimes it might come to war.

The coronavirus keeps on infecting, and killing, lots of people, especially here in the States, in no small part to the selfishness and ignorance of so many people who simply can’t be bothered with it.

Climate change is happening all around us, and time is running out to do something about it, and I’m not optimistic about us Americans doing our part. Again, selfishness and ignorance; also, arrogance.

(And I feel so sorry for the children who will inherit all this $#!t.)

On a more personal level, I’m at the age where more of the people I’ve known and loved all my life will be passing on, and I can’t bear to think of saying goodbye. To say nothing of whatever ailments await me the older I get.

You see why I don’t write so often these days? I’m just Mister Sunshine, right?

I know I shouldn’t be this way. I just have a hard time finding anything to look forward to these days. So I just figure I need to take each day as it comes, and see if I can extract anything good from it.

Sorry to bring you down, folks. Maybe next time, more cheerful. Like I said, the depression probably has a little too much of my mind lately.

Still Driving Four Years Later

Well, well…

Just got a reminder from WordPress about my blog’s four-year anniversary. Can’t believe it’s already been that long. Can’t believe people are still reading it after that long! But I’m very glad you are.

Thank all of you who have stopped in somewhere along my journey to read what’s going on in my scrambled egg of a mind. I hope you haven’t found it boring. I’ve tried to entertain, to educate, to point my fellow depression sufferers out there to some help, just to share what I think, for whatever it’s worth.

I’ll be honest: lately I’ve had thoughts of giving this writing thing up, because it’s been so freakin’ hard to come up with anything. My depression affects my concentration, and my inner critic gets pretty critical when I try to write something, so it’s two against one a lot of the time.

But I guess I’ll stay after it for awhile longer. Mainly cause I like the attention.

Thanks again, everyone. Blessings on you, and please stay safe.

 

 

 

What’s On My Mind

I haven’t written about my depression in a while, so for you new followers and visitors, let me bring you up to speed:

I was diagnosed with clinical depression several years ago. I was angry all the time, but I didn’t realize that was an outward manifestation of depression in men, until a therapist told me. And then, once I learned more about its symptoms, I thought, “WOW, I check a lot of these boxes!”

Didn’t mean I was crazy, mind you; that’s an old stigma that needs to be buried forever. Nobody with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder or any other mental illness is a crazy person. He (or she) just lacks the necessary mental faculties, for any number of reasons, to safely navigate this life.

Anyway, with the help of a couple of good therapists and some medication, I’m doing better.

For the most part. There are still a few dark days, even fewer really dark days, and a lot of days of just, meh. But, without the medicine, I know I’d be worse.

The important thing is, I got help. If you think you may need help, too, please ask for it. Depression is a beast, and you’re likely not going to beat it on your own. I know us guys especially are reluctant to talk to anyone about things of this nature.

We just go kill ourselves, instead.

Let’s not let it come to that,okay? Help is available; here is a great place to go to find it.

If you want to learn more of my story, read my post from July 2016, “The .05 Cubic Foot Cell.” See if you identify.

I wish you well.