Still Driving Four Years Later

Well, well…

Just got a reminder from WordPress about my blog’s four-year anniversary. Can’t believe it’s already been that long. Can’t believe people are still reading it after that long! But I’m very glad you are.

Thank all of you who have stopped in somewhere along my journey to read what’s going on in my scrambled egg of a mind. I hope you haven’t found it boring. I’ve tried to entertain, to educate, to point my fellow depression sufferers out there to some help, just to share what I think, for whatever it’s worth.

I’ll be honest: lately I’ve had thoughts of giving this writing thing up, because it’s been so freakin’ hard to come up with anything. My depression affects my concentration, and my inner critic gets pretty critical when I try to write something, so it’s two against one a lot of the time.

But I guess I’ll stay after it for awhile longer. Mainly cause I like the attention.

Thanks again, everyone. Blessings on you, and please stay safe.

 

 

 

What’s On My Mind

I haven’t written about my depression in a while, so for you new followers and visitors, let me bring you up to speed:

I was diagnosed with clinical depression several years ago. I was angry all the time, but I didn’t realize that was an outward manifestation of depression in men, until a therapist told me. And then, once I learned more about its symptoms, I thought, “WOW, I check a lot of these boxes!”

Didn’t mean I was crazy, mind you; that’s an old stigma that needs to be buried forever. Nobody with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder or any other mental illness is a crazy person. He (or she) just lacks the necessary mental faculties, for any number of reasons, to safely navigate this life.

Anyway, with the help of a couple of good therapists and some medication, I’m doing better.

For the most part. There are still a few dark days, even fewer really dark days, and a lot of days of just, meh. But, without the medicine, I know I’d be worse.

The important thing is, I got help. If you think you may need help, too, please ask for it. Depression is a beast, and you’re likely not going to beat it on your own. I know us guys especially are reluctant to talk to anyone about things of this nature.

We just go kill ourselves, instead.

Let’s not let it come to that,okay? Help is available; here is a great place to go to find it.

If you want to learn more of my story, read my post from July 2016, “The .05 Cubic Foot Cell.” See if you identify.

I wish you well.

Contact Points USA

I found this list on the blog, Coalition of the Brave, which is appropriate. Contacting anyone on it is an act of bravery. Thanks to darthtimon for putting this together, along with ones for the UK and Australia. Use them if you need them; there is no shame. Be well. – Larry

Coalition of the Brave

Do You Need To Talk To Someone?

If you or someone you know is in crisis, pleasecall 911, go to the nearest emergency room, call1-800-273-TALK(8255) to reach a 24-hour crisis center, ortext MHA to 741741at the Crisis Text Line.

You can also call 1-800-985-5990 or text “TalkWithUs” to 66746 at the SAMHSA Disaster Distress Helpline. Trained crisis workers will listen to you and direct you to the resources you need.

Suicide Hotline Phone Numbers

If you feel suicidal or you’re in a crisis situation and need immediate assistance, people at these suicide hotlines in the U.S. are there to help. We have additionalsuicide information and resourceshere.

  • 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK) – National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
  • 1-800-784-2433 (1-800-SUICIDE) – National Hopeline Network
  • 1-866-488-7386 (1-866-4.U.TREVOR aimed at gay and questioning youth)

Just a note: These are resources that we have come across that may prove helpful…

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Way to Go

Congratulations, Republican Senators! You have just rendered the United States Congress totally irrelevant.

Because of your vote to not remove donald trump from office, you have given the President permission to do whatever the hell he wants, and you can’t say or do a damn thing to stop him because, where you’re concerned, he is above the law.

Your revolting obsequiousness might be the very thing that ushers America into a new era of dictatorship.

Say goodbye to the Constitution, everyone.

And, Mitt Romney, you are my hero. It takes guts to stand alone.

 

This is what happens anytime I try to write about our government. It always becomes so pessimistic and depressing, I can’t stand to write another word.

And the Democrats don’t make me feel any better; they can’t even do a caucus right.

 

I’ll just keep the rest to myself. You don’t need to hear it.

 

 

A Month to Save a Life

 

September is National Suicide Prevention Month in America.

Two years ago this month, I wrote a series of posts on this topic, “A Ray of Light”, Parts 1-4. I invite you to read them if this is something that concerns you or someone you know. I shared information about the signs a person may be suicidal, what to do for someone who is, and who to contact for help.

This means something to me. I myself have had suicidal thoughts in the past, and came close to doing it once, and I lost an uncle to it many years ago.

It still registers as a national health crisis, as often as it occurs, and it’s getting worse. The statistics bear that out.

And I have to ask, why is that so? Where are we failing these people?

Is word not getting out that help is available? Is suicide still too uncomfortable a subject to mention in public?

Well, how comfortable are we with all these people killing themselves?

Folks, we have to talk about this more. We need to be perceptive around our friends and family. We need to not be ashamed to ask for help. We need to not hesitate to ask to help.

During this month that focuses on suicide, let’s all make it our focus. It’s extremely important. We’ve got to get a handle on this. Way too many precious lives are needlessly lost every year, every day. We can put an end to it.

Life can really suck sometimes, I know. But let’s all face it together. None of us has to alone. Please, reach out for help. Don’t give up.

 

I almost gave up 33 years ago. I’m glad it didn’t happen.

The Secret to Happy Living

 

Lately, things have been pretty good for me on the mental front. I haven’t been very depressed. Hardly at all, really.

And it dawned on me today why that most likely is: I haven’t done any major screwup recently.

See, that’s what usually sends me in a downward spiral of emotions, when I mess up big time. That’s when I go through the whole you’re hopeless, you’re worthless, you should just do everyone a favor and die routine. I’ve practiced it a lot over the years.

And sometimes, it doesn’t even have to be a big screwup. Sometimes, just a little mistake can start the avalanche that eventually buries me in self-hatred.

Yeah, we’re all human, everybody makes mistakes, cut yourself some slack, blah, blah, blah.

I’m telling you, none of that helps when depression works its magic in your mind and says, Nobody f***s up more than you, idiot. Nobody.

So, I guess I just need to not ever screw up really bad again, and I’ll stay happy.

 

Well, given my history and my common sense deficiency, I’m pretty sure that ain’t happenin’.

So, I guess I’ll just enjoy this lucky streak I’m on for as long as it lasts.

I know it will happen soon enough.