Now I’ve been crying lately
Thinkin’ about the world as it is
Why must we go on hating?
Why can’t we live in bliss?

Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam, “Peace Train”, 1971

Before I get into the real purpose of this post, I want to recommend an absolutely remarkable episode of television. If you’re able to watch the medical drama New Amsterdam (my favorite show, BTW) on demand, catch the episode that just aired this week, titled, “Maybe Tomorrow.” (Season 5, Episode 7) It is unforgettable.

I’ve been really struggling with writing this one, y’all.

There’s been a cloud of self-doubt hanging over me about this blog. I’ve been asking myself, should I keep writing? Do I have anything of value left to say? (Assuming I ever did.) Will anybody read it? Will it make a bit of difference in the whole scheme of things?

And then I recall a comment I once received from my fellow blogger, Jen, whose blog, Dogpaddling Through Life, I follow and highly recommend. She told me:

I hope you continue to write. Share with us your pain as we share our own.

And, trust me, she shares hers. She is compellingly transparent.

And so, here is my pain. Read it or not.

It pains me to see so many people embracing hate, embracing anger, embracing ignorance, embracing fear, embracing violence.

It pains me that the media sees fit to deliver a barrage of bad news, and what pains me about it is, it’s apparently what we want, or they wouldn’t keep giving it to us.

It pains me to watch the steady erosion – recently accelerated and encouraged by the words and actions of donald trump – of such things as compassion, kindness, even simple common courtesy.

It pains me how much astonishing immaturity is being displayed by so many of us regarding an election that was decided – and repeatedly verified – almost two years ago.

To the point of some folks threatening civil war, for Chrissakes, if the midterm elections don’t go their way. Grow the hell up, why don’t you?

It pains me to hear how many absurd, outlandish, jaw-dropping lies are repeated by supposedly responsible adults, and how many supposedly sensible folks willingly, even enthusiastically believe them.

It pains me how many white people, and how many institutions, still view non-whites as somehow inferior, and treat them that way.

And then do whatever they can to keep their children from learning about it.

It pains me to see the the supremely stupefying callousness shown toward children, as proven by the total lack of meaningful gun policy, and to witness so many people more worried about losing their guns than our kids. That is so far beyond unconscionable, it’s obscene.

It pains me that abortions happen; I wish they didn’t. But what pains me even more is the vitriol and the violence directed at anyone who has or performs one, and at anyone who supports a woman’s right to choose. It pains me, also, that the Supreme Court of the United States feels the necessity to interfere with that right.

Incidentally, if all you “pro-life” folks are so concerned with the rights of the unborn, where the f*** is that concern when guns that cut down the lives of children, let alone adults, are so readily available, so fervently protected, and so devotedly worshipped?

It pains me how much humiliation, ostracism, rage and violence is experienced by the LGBTQ+ community. This is not a “chosen lifestyle.” Seriously, how many of you would choose to subject yourself to this kind of cruelty, day after day?

And it really, really pains me that so many so-called “Christians” are at the forefront of all this $#!t. Their behavior is so far away from the teachings of the Jesus they claim to follow, He probably wouldn’t recognize any of them. I would like to think a lot of them are in for a surprise in the afterlife.

And I haven’t even mentioned war, climate change, and a myriad of other pains.

I know this is a lot to take in. But it all causes me pain. Sometimes intense, overwhelming pain.

And, I’m sure telling you about it will ultimately accomplish nothing. Except maybe, spread the misery. Sorry.

Maybe I shouldn’t write anymore.