The Big. Six. Ohhhh!


The sun is the same in a relative way, but you’re older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

“Time”, Pink Floyd


When I was a kid, I thought 60 was old.

As I turn 60 today, I still think so.

Sixty. It just sounds old to me. It means I’m now officially an Old Man..

And no B.S. about “60 is the new 40.” It’s the same old 60, if you ask me.

This wasn’t supposed to happen to me already, for corn’s sake, as Fred Mertz used to say.

I’m hiring a private detective to track down where all the previous years went. I’ve done the math over and over, and get the same answer. Something is definitely amiss here.

On the bright side, I’m eligible now for lots of discounts.


I don’t know; turning 40 and 50 didn’t seem to bother me as much as this does. Maybe I’m more worried about my future: A, how much longer will it be and B, what kind of health will I be in?

Before I go any farther, I acknowledge all you geezers out there who left 60 in your rearview mirror some time ago, laughing at my lamentations over turning “just 60.”

Well, I’m sorry, but I’ve never been here before, and it’s a little scary. And, given my resting state, somewhat depressing.

Despite said depression, though, I must say that I’m glad to still be around. Most days, anyway. The bad days ain’t all gone, but they are fewer. For now, at least.

And, for that, I’m grateful.


I’d like to think I’ve learned a few things by now but, honestly, I’m not so sure what, if anything, that would be. In some ways, I feel like I’m still trying to learn how to be a man. Even at 60.

(The word man has always felt awkward to me, anyway. I still think of myself as some goofy kid a lot of the time.)

I realize I still have much to learn about love, respect, compassion, forgiveness, patience, good health, and a few other things. I guess the lessons never end.

I guess they’re not supposed to. I used to think, by the time I reached 60, I’d finally have things figured out. Turns out, not even close; I feel about as clueless now as I ever did. Must be a really slow learner.

So, onward I go, my hair more gray and less voluminous, my back a little more bent, my feet garbed in the age-appropriate socks and sandals. I’ve got my health, my job, my stunning good looks (Ha!), my friends and family, my lovely wife of now 35 years, and our two spoiled rotten cats, Izzy and Lizzy. Life is pretty good for this Old Man.

Well, gotta go. I got an early bird dinner to get to. Outta my way, whippersnapper!


8 thoughts on “The Big. Six. Ohhhh!

  1. Happy Birthday, Larry, I am happy to hear that there are not as many of the bad days. THAT IS PROGRESS! Once you get over the shock of 60, it’s all a cake walk. Early social security at 62 if you want, Medicare at 65, start withdrawing your IRA at 691/2, memory loss at 71, trifocals, pureed food, etc., etc., etc. And you are right about the BS. 60 is not the new 40. 60 is 60🎂.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy Belated Birthday, Larry.

    I’m one of those “geezers” you mentioned, but I’m not laughing. I know how you feel. There curse of a good memory is that it’s not selective. The pleasant and unpleasant come to mind with equal power when triggered. I know how scary 60 can be.

    Maybe this will help:

    o In 5 years, you can sign up for Medicare Part A at no cost … other than the
    FICA tax you have been and continue to pay. Part A helps with a lot of hospital
    costs should you ever need them.

    o You’ll probably get initial surprise followed by a compliment when a 40 or 50
    year-old “youngster” learns your age.

    o You’ll begin to realize that some of the stuff that used to bother you isn’t as
    important as it was … and, that the list of no-longer-so-important things
    grows a bit with each passing year.

    o In 14 years, you’ll be my age and:

    * The body may not work as well, but the mind will be about the same.

    * If you work full-time past your full retirement age, you can either do
    what I did, start collecting Social Security (full retirement amount no
    matter how much you earn) and clean up your remaining debt or do
    what my best friend did … wait until you actually retire (or reach 70) and
    collect a larger amount.

    * You’ll probably be enrolled in “full” Medicare … available when you
    reach your full retirement age … and learn that it’s a pretty good deal.

    * You’ll sometimes wonder who that old guy you see in a mirror is.

    * You still won’t know what you want to be when you grow up.

    * You’ll (hopefully) be sympathetic to anxious people who were born
    the summer before you entered 8th grade.

    Enjoy your birthday. If we live long enough, medicine and engineering will be able to fix most of the problems of aging that interfere with the kids we are inside.


    Liked by 1 person

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