People, it’s October, already. Good grief, where has this year gone?!
Well, it’s like Neal Peart, lyricist and drummer for the rock group, Rush, once wrote, “The future disappears into memory/with only a moment between.”*
Time flies, in other words.
You know why it flies? The retail industry.
Just tell me you haven’t already seen Christmas decorations in the store shelves. I know you have. That’s…just…wrong.
Anyway, I digress.
As everybody knows, October is the month for Halloween. And Halloween, of course, is the time to get the s**t totally scared out of you. Fun, right?
One way to get a good scare is to visit one of the haunted houses in your community. You can pay good money to walk through a pitch black building, screaming your fool head off as monsters jump out of nowhere, brandishing sharp implements, chainsaws, Donald Trump photos, whatever will scare you right to the marrow of your bones.
Another good way is to go see a horror movie. A new one usually comes out just before Halloween, one that you haven’t yet watched through your fingers. That was my preferred way of getting a good scare. My preferred way now is not to get scared at all, seeing as how real life does that quite well. A bit too well.
And the best scare I ever got was in 1979, when I saw Halloween, starring Donald Plesance as Dr. Loomis, and featuring Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strode.
Man, that was a scary movie!
It tells the story of Michael Myers, one seriously messed-up dude. For starters, he murders his older sister on Halloween night when he’s only six years old. (Can’t start ’em too early, right?) He gets put in a mental institute, but escapes fifteen years later, and returns to his peaceful little hometown of Haddonfield, Illinois (on Halloween, naturally), and gets right to making up for lost time.
There’s almost no blood and gore in Halloween, but there’s plenty of Boo! moments in it. Michael was really good at staying hidden until just the right time, then suddenly appearing with his big ol’ knife to scare all of us to death. (Of course, the same could be said for Sheriff Brackett, only without the knife. Don’t you know it’s mean to sneak up on folks like that?)
What really made it good, though, was the audience. You can choose to watch this movie at home, by yourself (do you DARE??) or with others, but I’m telling you, you can’t beat seeing it in a theater full of shrieking, hysterical moviegoers. I hadn’t heard that much audience participation since the first Rocky movie.
I mean, people were just screaming at Laurie to HURRY UP HE’S COMING GET OUT OF THE HOUSE HURRY UP JUST BREAK DOWN THE FREAKING DOOR OMIGOD HERE HE COMES HURRY UUUUUUUPP!!!!
See, that’s the thing: we were all trying so hard to help this girl, and she didn’t listen to a word we said! Stubborn, huh?
Anyway, it was great. That’s when a movie is fun, when the whole crowd is into it like that. And, as I said, the best scare I ever got.
But, I think even it will end up in second place, behind an upcoming feature that promises to be even scarier and more horrifying:
Our Next President!
*”The Garden”, Rush
LEE, LIFESON, PEART
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC